What does your child want to see?

I’ve mentioned that there are marks not only for what your child HEARS, but also for what your child should SEE. But what should your child see?

Well, one thing is your face.

Isn’t that what you want to see when YOU talk to someone? How would you feel about communicating with your wife while she’s in the other room about the crappy day you had? That’s annoying and the same thing is true for your child.

Your child wants to see you and see you seeing them. Yes, I’m getting Oprah on you. But really, children just want to be seen and know they matter. They need to know that what they have to say is important. Especially when they may be a little reluctant to communicate.

So, think about it.

Where is your face when your child is trying to tell you something?

Is it in the same room?

Is it on their level?

What is that level?

Are your eyes looking at them?

Is your face saying, “I am ready to hear you and I know you have something to say”?

That particular facial expression of ready and happily waiting sets an expectation of some kind of communication happening. It’s that look your roommate gave you when you got home from the first date.

It says, “So?! Tell me! How was it? What happened?!”

It’s body leaning forward, mouth open in anticipation, and eyes bright with excitement.

It’s the Tell Me Face. The Tell Me Face is one of the most powerful tools you can use when helping your child to communicate.

So go. Look in the mirror. Give yourself the Tell Me Face. Give it to your child all day. Tell Me Face it up. And if you’re still not sure what it looks like, watch this.

  1. Amelia says:

    Great info! This seems like common sense but looking back I see how I’ve tried to communicate with my child while also washing dishes. I hope to be a more attuned parent and hopefully have better communication with my son.

    • Kim says:

      Hi there! I know we all have to wash dishes sometimes, right?! The important thing is to make sure your child gets SOME face time in. Some parents are sitting up on the couch talking to their child while their child plays because they just didn’t realize how important it is for their child to see their face. Did you post your Tell Me Face on our Facebook page?